Random Cullen Chatroom
by Mrs.Black.IloveyouJacobBlack
Summary: Cullen chatroom--Random ! :
1. Randomness

Jacob has logged on

Nessie has logged on

Alice has logged on

Emmett has logged on

Rosalie has logged on

Edward has logged on

Edward: Hey guys!!!

Emmett: Hey rosie where r u?

Nessie: Ahhh it's raining purple monkeys!!!

Edward: What?!?!?!?!?!

Nessie: AHHHH THERES A GIANT GREEN ELEPHANT IN A PINK TU-TU CHASING A PURPLE COW!!!

Jacob: Oh. My. God. Guys it's true i just saw them!!!

Me: I LOVE YOU EDWARD!

Bella: what?! No he's MINE!

Me: NO HE LOVES ME! DONT YOU EDDIE?

Edward: Uhhhhhh Ummmmm......Yes?

Bella: EDWARD! i thought you loved me!?? How Could You!!!! *runs away*

Edward: Nooooooooooooooooooooooo Bella!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nessie: Uhhhhhhhh............I'm gonna go now....

Jacob: I saw green and pink Strawberries attacking a giant blue hulk! They pushed him into a lake...of PUDDING!!! hahahahha

Nessie: Wow. I wanna see the giant blue hulk!!!

Edward: AUTHOR! BELLA BOUGHT A HOTEL IN FRANCE TO HIDE! GOOD JOB!

Me: Hehe. Nessie, im your new mommy!

Nessie: NO! I MISS MY MOMMA! *runs to france to live with Bella*

Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Jacob: ill get her! *runs and talks Nessie out of living with Bella*

Bella: I'm coming back!

Me: Aw

Edward: Yay! I love you Bells! Uhhh You too Author!!!


	2. Talking Blue PolkaDotted Flying Pigs

Edward has signed on

Bella has signed on

Jacob has signed on

Emmet has signed on

Esme has signed on

Carlisle has signed on

Rosalie has signed on

Jasper has signed on

Alice has signed on

Alice: Heyyyy Guys

Jasper: I'm leaving you Alice!

Alice: ...What?! For who!?Why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jasper: *snicker* (Small voice in background sais 'Aliiiiiiiiiiiice he's lying!!! that's jacob!!!')

Alice: What?! JACOB!!!!!!!!! dont worry Jazz IM COMING!!!

Edward: Ooh Ooh Are you going to kill Jacob? If you are i want to help!!!

Bella: me too!!!!

Nessie: Nooooooooooooooooo! Not my poor Jakey! *runs to jacobs house and attacks anyone that hurts him!*

Carlisle: !!!!!!!!!!!! BLUE POLKA-DOTTED FLYING PIGS!

Bella: Are those even real?!

Carlisle: Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *goes and gets a blue polka-dotted flying pig* See!?

Piggy: Hi! I'm the Pig!!! Yes! I can talk! Why y'all starin at me like that?!!?!?!? WHAT! ARE YOU SURPRISED TO SEE A BLUE POLKA-DOTTED FLYING PIG????

Everyone: Yeah

Piggy: Oh come on! You are a family full of vampires, with a vampire hybrid, who is in love with a werewolf. And you think Blue polka-dotted flying, talking pigs are crazy?

Edward: Uhhhhhhhh..........OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! whats your name piggy?

Piggy: Harold.

Edward: Oh. My. God. Carlisle! Can we keep him?! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease!

Carlisle: I dont know. Esme what do you think?

Esme: I think .....well...could we convert him to a vampire pig? Or do you think the venom might kill him?

Carlisle: I believe we could change him. I would have to do some test to see if he could survive with the vanom in his blood. But i believe that it will wRork!

Nessie: really?!?!?!?!? This is SO awesome!!!!

Me: okay guys! Let's go to Wal-Mart and buy some stuff for Harold while Carlisle does his test.

Everyone: Okay *we go to Wal-Mart.*

Alice: OH NO!!!!!!!!!

Edward: Oh My God. Alice. You're HEARING VOICES? wow...

Alice: *assumes the fetal position screaming for them to shut up* SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHH! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: Ummmmm.....Maybe we should just leave her here and go....far away...

Edward: *shrugs* Works for me!

Everyone: bye Alice! *walks away* *buys a bunch of stuff for Harold.* *Go to the car*

Me: Oh hey Alice.

Alice: *frowns* You. All. Left. Me. In. The. Middle. Of. The. Store. Screaming. For. The. Voices. Stop. And. You. Leave. Me. There. To. Embarrass. Myself.

Me: Uhhhhhhhh. Sorry Pixie

Alice: DO NOT CALL ME PIXIE

Me: ummmm.......sorry.............

Everyone: *We drive home. Harold is a talking blue polka dotted flying VAMPIRE pig!*

Me: Oh my GOD! This is SO Awesome!!!!!

Harold: Uhmm...Guys...I have a terrible burning pain in my throat....And that pretty little girl over there *points at Nessie* Smells delicious.

everyone: NO!!!!!!!!

Harold: Why? She's _human_.

Edward: I waited 108 years for a kid. IF YOU TOUCH HER I WILL KILL YOU!

Harold: Sorry sorry. But she is Human Right?

Edward: No. She is HALF human.

Harold:Oh

Harold: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I miss my Mommy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edward: Ummmmm Harold...........we're sorry we took you from her....SO is your mom a polka-dotted pig like you?

Harold: No! she is not polka-dotted. she is just a pig. My dad however...He is a bird...We arent sure where the polka-dots are from. I'm just awesome like that i guess!

Edward: Hahahahhaha ok then


	3. wow jake wow!

Edward has logged on

Bella has logged on

Alice has logged on

Emmett has logged on

Rosalie has logged on

Jasper has logged on

Author has logged on

Jacob has logged on

Jacob: Oh Crap Edwards on! Crap!

Edward: What? Hate me because I hate you for loving my daughter? Orrrrrrrrrrrrr are you jealous of my sexiness?!

jacob: Pft! I am Soooooooooooooooooo sexier than you

Edward: No your not!!! See watch this *starts singing 'im too sexy' and dancing* IM TOO SEXY BABY! IM TOO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bella: Wahooo!!!!!!!!!!! Edward!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alice: Ohhhhh ummmm....disturbing...

Jasper: Wow...bro....wow

Jacob: Oh yeah? *Starts dancing and sings 'sexy back'* IM BRINGIN SEXY BACK BABY!!!

Nessie: Wahhooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!! Jakey!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edward: Renesmee! When did you log on?

Nessie: Uhhhhh a long time ago...

Jacob: Hey Ness.... *walks up to Nessie singing 'i wanna love you'*

Edward: DO. NOT. SING. THAT. TO. MY. DAUGHTER. YOU. MUTT.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jacob: Why? She's been physically 18 for 4 years Eddie-poo. Face it. Your little girl is all grown up. And she's **my** girl now.

Nessie: he's right dad

Edward: AHHHHHHHHH. YOU STUPID MUTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL KILL YOU!!!!!

Bella: Edward! You. Will. Not. Kill. My. Best. Friend. If. You. Do. You will be sleeping on the couch for the next 200 years.

Edward: Bella! You didn't hear his thoughts!

Bella: I Dont Care! If you hurt him you will NEVER see me Naked Again!

Edward: I....Uhhhh.....BELLA thats SO not FAIR!!!!!!!!

Bella: I dont care.

Edwarrd: Fine. *turns to jacob* you get to live another day _mutt_

**Edward has logged off.**

Jacob: Thanks Bells

Bella: no prob. i wouldnt mess with him right now. ............i gotta go....bye guys

**Bella has logged off.**

Nessie: Wow.......

Nessie: Oh dangit! My dad told me i have to go! :( Text me babyy

Jacob: Ok

**Nessie Has logged off.**

Jacob: Alice? Jasper? Rose? Emmett? ANYONE!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!! OH im all alone *dances around in his underwear singing 'i feel pretty'

Rosalie: OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *****burst out laughing* JASPER, ALICE, EMMETT COME LOOK AT THIS! HAHAHHAHAHA *Gets out her phone, takes a video and sends it to Edward*

Alice: OH MY............Jacob?

Emmett: *Rolling on Floor laughing*

**Edward has logged on.**

**Bella has logged on**

Edward: Oh my god! It's REALLY HAPPENING!!!!!!!!!

**Nessie has logged on**

Edward: Nessie get OFF NOW!

Nessie: Sorry daddy---Bye Jakey.......0.0 WTF!??!?!?!?!

Edward: NESSIE. BED. NOW!

Nessie: Sorry.

**Nessie has logged off**

Jacob: Uhhhh.....Ummmmm.............I can't explain

Edward: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA go home wolf boy

jacob: Bye guys

**Jacob has logged off**

Emmett: OH MY GOD! THAT WAS PRICELESS!!!!!!


	4. Authors Note

**Hey guys. So I'm really bored and i can't sleep so i'm writing a bunch of chapters. Let me know how you like them! :)**

**Also, if you guys have any ideas for some stories , please tell me. I want to write some but i cant think of anything to write about **

**Dont Forget to review!!! ****:o)**

**~Stacy~**


	5. Jake acting stupid

Jacob has signed on

Jacob: Anybody here?!?!?! *silence* Helllo?!?!?!??!?!?!?! *Silence* Nobody? Im All Alone! Alone. Alone. Alone. Aloooooooooooooooooooooooone!!! Whaaaa!! I miss Nessie!! It's sooooooooo quiet *cricket* STFU!!! *cricket* I SAID STFU U STUPID CRICKET!!! I KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *cricket shuts up* THATS BETTER!!!!

**Nessie has logged on**

Nessie: Hey Jakey!!!!!

Jacob: Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! I miss you!!!

Nessie: Yeah mhm...heey guess what?!?!

Jacob: What/???

Nessie: Outside. There is a army of blue polka-dotted strawberrys chasing the purple monkeys, the giant blue hulk, Carlisle, annnd a giant pink elephant. Into a lake of pudding!!!

jacob: Thats....odd...Ugh Im soooooooooooo boredddddddd

Nessie: meeeeeeeeeeeeeee toooooooooooooooooo! awww i gotta go. see ya latttterrrrrr jakey

**nessie has logged off**

jacob: i love you!!!

Jocob: Oh you're alraedy gone

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IM ALL ALONE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Cricket* STFU YOU STUPID FREAKIN CRICKET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BOREDOM!!!!! BOREDOM!!! YOU SPIN MY HEAD RIGHT ROUND RIGHT ROUND WHEN YOU GO DOWN WHEN YOU GO DOWN DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S BOUT TO BE A GIRLFIGHT!!!!!! DNT FIGHT DNT ARGUE JUST HIT DAT CHICK WIT A BOTTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM A IM A A DIVA! IM A IMA A DIVA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMC I AM SO STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Starts dancing*

**everyone logs on.**

Edward: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH WE GOT THAT ON VIDEO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!

Alice: Ummm No more beer for EITHER of you!!!

Jacob: Heh

**- I hope you guys think this is funny. I'm bored. Umm...So lemme know if you like this! :) I'll be updating a bunch more soon. =)**

**~Stacy~**


	6. Barbie Girls

**Edward has logged on**

**Bella has logged on**

**Jacob has logged on**

**Nessie has logged on**

**Esme has logged on**

**Seth has logged on**

Edward: hey guys!

Bella: Hey hunn

Jacob: hey nessie!

Nessie: Hey guyssssss!

Seth: I WANT A FRIED PICKLE AND CHEESE SANDWHICH!!!!!!!!!!

Nessie: ...weird...

Jacob: Seth? Are you high?

Seth: No

Jacob: Drunk?

Seth: No

Jacob: what the hell is wrong with you then!?

Seth: Im just Crazy!!!

Nessie: haha

Bella: Ow! My Head! Owwwwwwwwwww!

Nessie: WTF?!

Seth: Hey Ness?

Nessie: Yah?

Seth: Will you make me a cabbage, lettus, cheese, sandwhich. With pickles?! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease!!!

Nessie: Uhhhhhhh sure… *makes the sandwhich.* *gives sandwhich to seth* there ya go! J Sooooooo Jakeeeeyyyyy wat u doin?

Jacob: Playing online checkers

Nessie: …I gotta go…byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

-Nessie has logged off-

-Bella has logged off-

-Edward has logged off-

Jacob- IM A BARBIE GIRL!

Seth: IN A BARBIE WORRRRRRRRRRRLD

Jacob: LIFE IN PLASTIC!

Seth: ITS FANTASTIC!

Jacob: YOU CAN BRUSH MY HAIR!

Seth: UNDRESS ME ANYWHEREEEEEEEE

Jacob: IMAGINATATION!

Seth: LIFE IS YOUR CREATION!!!!!!!!!

lol


	7. Nessie? Pregnant?

**Online:**

**Renesmee**

**Jacob**

**Seth**

**Alice**

**Bella**

**[Edward has logged on]**

Jacob: Ahhh! Edward! Uhhhh!!! Ummmmm.......

Nessie: Jake! Shhhhhhhh!

Bella: What's going on??!

Alice: Ooh OOh I know!!!

Nessie: ALICE! HUSH! DONT THINK ABOUT IT!!!

Seth: I know too! I heard it in Jakes MIND! Like when he phased earlier. *Goes up to Edward* *Pats him on the back* Congrats, grandpa!

Edward: WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTT?! N--W-FS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! RENESMEE IS THIS TRUE?

Nessie: *Deep breath* *gulp* Yes, dad. I am...pregnant.

Bella: Nessie! My.....my little girl.... *cries* *done crying* Well...its too soon,but this is exciting *smile*

Edward: JACOB! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU SON OF A--

Bella: Edward! SHUSH!

Carlisle: Hmmmmm interesting. Nessie, come over as soon as you can, i must do test!

Edward: You. Will. Not. Be. Doing. Test. On My Daughter! She is having an abortion, NOW!

Nessie: DAD! NO. I. AM. NOT.

Bella: Ness, Im on your side here. I understand what its like...*glare at edward*...for someone to want you to have an abortion, when oyu LOVE the child!

Jake: Edward. You can hurt me, you can call me names, BUT YOU WILL NOT! I REPEAT, NOT! HURT MY CHILD!

Edward: OH, YOU WANNA BET? SHE'S ONLY FIVE YEARS OLD FOR GOD'S SAKE!

Nessie: Daddy....Please....I want to keep my little Oliver.

Jake/Seth/Alice/Bella/Edward: Oliver?!

Nessie: Yeahhhh.....i like the name Oliver. I have a feeling hes gonna be a boy...soooooo.....yeahhhh

Me: Edward!!!! Jake!!!!!!!! EMMETT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Emmett: Freeeeeeeeeeeeeakyyyyyyyyyy

Me: I LOVE YOU EMMETT!!!

Emmett: I...But...I...You...Rose!

Me: Is the only thing keeping us apart, Rose?

Emmett: *Sighs* yes.

Me: *tears Rose apart and burns the peices* There!

Emmett: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ROSIE!!! *Cries* *Walks over to author* YOU! YOU KILLED MY WIFE!

Me: And YOU love ME!

Emmett: *sighs* Yes, yes I do. Back to the subject we were on...NESSIE SCREWED JAKE!

Nessie: Emmett......

Emmett: Yes?

Nessie: Shut up

Edward: Nessie, you can keep your kid.

Me: Good, edward. Good boyyyyyyy! lol

Edward: Im not a dog!

Me: Rigggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhht, thats Jake


	8. yay :

**Online:**

**Renesmee**

**Jacob**

**Seth**

**Alice**

**Bella**

**Edward**

**Billy**

**Carlisle**

**Esme**

**Charlie**

**Renee**

Bella: Edwaaaaaaaaaaaard/=]]\\sf

Edward: Jeesh, gimme sum spaaaaaaaaaace...... itch, bayy!

Charlie: What did YOU JUST CALL MY DAUGHTER!!?

Edward: Itch bayy

Bella: Dad, its fine. Edward. Ilent say, on the ussing Kay.

Edward: Huh? Ohhhh i get it!

Emmett: That's the _only stuff you get!_ =D

Edward: Oh shut up, I get plenty. More than you and your self-obsorvant, CHEATER, of a wife!

Emmett: She....She is not cheating on me!

Edward: i read her mind before she left! She's going to see _dimitri._ Emmie-pooh, youre better off with the Author!

Me: YEAHHH!!! =D

Emmett: I...U....A....W.....ROSALIE IS CHEATING ON ME!? WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Edward: Chillllllaxxxx I was _kidding_ she's not cheating on you! But you would have a better life with the author!

Emmett: Watevvs! OH ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE! I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING

**Rosalie has logged on**

Emmett: Rose!

Rose: Yessssssssssss?

Emmett: IM LEAVING YOU!

Rose: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! WHY?!

Emmett: For the author! :)

Rose: *Turns to author* YOU! YOU RUINED MY LIFE!!!!

Me: Yeah, goood to know. Buh-bye now!

Charlie: You people are mean on here!

Edward: Durrrrrrrrrrrrrrh cuz its funnnnn :)

Esme: I....Uhhh.....Ummmm......

Carlisle: Esmeee! I need some _help _in the study!

**Carlisle has signed off**

**Esme has signed off**

Jake: Help! Hah! He's going to screw her!

Edward: Jake shut up. You _already_ got my daughter pregnant, STOP TALKING ABOUT MY PARENTS LIKE THAT!!!

Jake: *Sighs* Fine! Byeeeee

**jake has signed off**

**nessie has signed off**

Seth: I wish there was a more spacific clock on here! Or a clock AT ALL!

Edward: Maybe there will be!

**Bella has signed off [2:45:54]**

**Bella has signed on [2:46:02]**

Bella: Tadaaaaaaaaaaa! :)

Seth: lol

Edward: Whooooooooo. Im bored.....


	9. o0o0o0o0o0h?

**Online:**

**Jacob**

**Edward**

**Seth**

**Bella**

**Mike**

**Author**

**Alice**

**Jasper**

**Renesmee**

**Emmett**

Bella: Hey!!!!! :D

Edward: hey bella, love :)

Renesmee: Guys! When will I be able to tell if the baby is a boy or a girl?

Carlisle: Judging from how fast your stomach has grown, id say....now

Mike: ummm....If Renesmee is Edward and Bella's _daughter_ how is she pregnant?! They arent even 30 years old!----And _how do you guys still look like you're 17?!_ is there some secret I dont know about?

**Carlisle has signed off [6:27:54]**

Edward: Ummmm............

Emmett: HE KNOWS TOO MUCH, LETS KILL HIM!!! =D

Mike: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!

Edward: God, Emmett, you almost gave the poor guy a heart attack. poor mike, he's hypervenalating

Mike: How do you know that?! What are you...a mind reader?!

Edward: Actually, yes i am.

Mike: ...

Edward: wow. you have _very_ foul language.

Mike: Stay out of my head! What _are _you people?!

**Jasper has signed out [6:40:12]**

**Alice has signed off [6:40:13]**

Emmett: Urhhhh..........Edward can we tell him, and kill him?! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?

Edward: No Emmett, we cant. Alice is about to tell us what to do. in 3

Edward: 2

Edward: 1

**Alice has signed on [6:45:56]**

Alice: YES! I GET TO GIVE YOU A MAKEOVER!!!!! YESSSSSSSSSSS! MIKE, im going to give you a makeover, then you are going to go makeout with the first guy you see! :)

Mike: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? No!

Alice: YES!

**Alice has signed off [6:49:24]**

Mike: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Edward: hahahahahahhahahahahahah. Mike, killing yourself wont work! She'll see it coming, and save you!

Mike: UGH! there must be some way around her stupid visions!

Emmett: Actually, mike, there is----

edward: EMMETT SHUT UP!

Mike: Jerk.

Bella: Yeah! Jerk.

Edward: Bella? I thought you loved me! Why would you be so...so,...MEAN!

Bella: I dunno. I hadnt said anything in a while, didnt want you guys to think i was....dead or captured by the volturi

Mike: What's a volturi?

Emmett: Well, mike, the volturi, are the evil vam---

Edward: EMMETT I SAID SHUT UP! ...stupid...

Emmett: You're the one who wouldnt let me kill him!

Edward: Seriously Emmett? Really? You are gonna risk his life to the volturi, if i dont let you kill him?

Emmett: Yeppers

Edward: Yeppers? WTF?

Emmett: WTF! WHAT THE F-

edward: EMMETT SHUT UP!

Emmett: Sorry Eddie-Pooh.

Edward: Emmett...

Emmett: Huh?

Edward: STFU!

Me: Okay, Edward. STFU. BE NICE TO MY EMMETT!!!!!!!!! OR, ILL PROVOKE THE VOLTURI AND BLAME YOU!!!!

Edward: Ahhhh. Sorry, stacy.

Me: Apoligize to emmett. now.

Edward: Sorry Emmett!

Emmett: THank you, stacy. *turns to edward* I DO NOT FORGIVE YOU! SO, AS PUNISHMENT, IM GUNNA MAKE FUN OF U AND BELLA'S SEX LIFE!

Edward: Go ahead, i know the truth.

Me: Emm. No. bad.

Emmett: Grrrr. fine!

Me: LoVe YoU!!!!!!

Emmett: Love you too...

**Emmett has signed out [9:78:24]**

Seth: Hey! Look, the clock is messed up!

Edward: Nobody cares seth.

Me: Eddie, be nice to seth.

Seth: Yeah Eddie-puss.

Edward: Seth....stfu

**Author has signed out [9:45:56]**

**Author signed on **

Me: God, im so freaking sick of being the adult around here!

**Authot has signed off [9:46:53]**

Edward: Well, whatever.

Nessie: Um, guys.

Edward: What nessie?

Nessie: This is jake, nessie is in labor!


	10. Ness, Jake, and the baby :D

I lay on the bed as the pain threatened to pull me into unconciousness. Jake was talking to daddy, i think they were on the way here. "TELL THEM TO HURRY!" i screamed.  
"I think they heard you. They are almost here" Jake said. Jake hung up, and came to sit beside me. He looked very worried. 'it'll be okay, jakey' i showed him with my power. He tried to smile, but it turned out more a grimace. Daddy and grandpa Carlisle burst through the door, and i passed out.  
*****Jake***  
**I sat beside Renesmee as Carlisle and Edward got ready for the birth. "I dont think she'll wake up for a few more hours" Carlisle said. Edward nodded, to one of carlisles thoughts im guessing. "We are going to do a sea-section" Edward explained. I nodded my head, then looked back at Renesmee. My poor Renesmee. I then heard crying. "Congratulations. It's a boy" Carlisle said. I looked between my son and my wife.  
"She'll be fine, she'll wake up in a couple hours." Edward said. I nodded and took my son from Carlisle.  
"Hi, Oliver. Daddy's here" I said.  
"Oliver?" Carlisle said, confused.  
"That's what Ness said she wanted to name him if he was a boy." I explained, smiling. I sat beside Nessie while Oliver took a nap, waiting for her to wake up. She stirred and her hand found mine. 'Is he ok?'  
"Yes. Our little Oliver is great. Growing faster than you did!" which was true, he's only two hours old and he's already the size of a 4 month old baby.  
'Really?' She sat up. "L...Let me hold him." She said. I handed him to her. He looked confused at first.  
"Hey, little Oliver. It's mommy" she said, smiling.  
"We have quite a kid here." I said, proud. "Only an hour old and he can already phase"  
She laughed, then frowned, biting her bottom lip. "He's not working with the pack! Not until he's older!" She yelled.  
"I didnt say he was, Ness. I completely agree. He's way too young to work with the pack."  
"Good. Age limit, he has to be 18 to start with the pack." She said, in a deadly voice i knew not to dissagree with.  
"Okay." I agreed.

**-------There it is :) Ness and Jake had their kid. :) Sorry it's not very long. but im working on the next chapter already :) Ill most likely write another story to his life,do yah think I should? but as for my random cullen chatroom, im def finishing that. Next Mike's makeover!!! :)  
--Stacy-**


	11. More Randomness :D

****

Online:

Nessie

Bella

Jacob

Emmett

Emmett: Uuhhh guys, where's Oliver...??

Nessie: Sleeping :) *yawns*

Jacob: Maybe you should take a nap, Ness.

Nessie: NO! I dont get to get on here except when Oliver is taking naps, IM STAYING ON HERE! *frowns*

Jacob: *Terrified* ok, ok. No nap for nessie. Sorry, babe!

Bella: Hmm. Where's Edward...?

Emmett: I think he went to see his girlfriend...

Bella: WHAT?!

Emmett: Chill bella. I was kidding!

Bella: Jerk...

Emmett: SHE WANTS TO TOUCH ME WOAH SHE WANTS TO LOVE ME WOAH. SHELL NEVER LEAVE ME WOAH! WHOAH! OH OH! DONT TRUST A HOE! NEVER TRUST A HOE! WONT TRUST A HOE! CUZ A HOE WONT TRUST ME!

Nessie: Emmett....

Emmett: SHUSH GRL SHUT YAH LIPS, DO THA HELLEN KELLER AND TALK WITH YAH HIPS! I SAID SHUSH GIRL SHUT YAH LIPS! DO THA HELLAN KELLER AND TALK WITH YAH HIPS! I SAID SHUSH GIRL! SHUT YAH LIPS! DO THA HELLAN KELLER AND TALK WITH YAH HIIIIIPS!

Bella: God, Emmett! Is it even freakin possible for a vampire to get drunk!?

Emmett: No, it is not. I am not drunk thank you very much. THAT PARTY LAST NIGHT WAS AWFULLY CRAZY! I DANCED MY A** OFF AND HAD THIS ONE GIRL COMPLETELY NAKED! DRINK MY BEER AND SMOKE MY WEED! BUT MY GOOD FRIENDS IZ ALL I NEED!

Jacob: Dude STFU!

Emmett: I will not. PASS OUT AT 3! WAKE UP AT 10! GO OUT TO EAT, THEN DO IT AGAIN! MAN I LOVE COLLEGE!!!

Nessie: *sighs* Gotta go. Oliver woke up. Going shopping with Alice...

Emmett: DO YAH LIKE WAFFLES! YEAH WE LIKE WAFFLES! DO YAH LIKE PANCAKES YAH WE LIKE PANCAKES DO YAH LIKE FRENCH TOAST! YEH WE LIKE FRENCH TOAST! DO DO DO DO CANT WAIT TO GET A MOUTH FULL! WAFFLES! WAFFLES!DO DO DO DO CANT WAIT TO GET A MOUTH FULL!

****

Nessie has logged off

Jake: God, Emmet you're so stupid!

Bella: I miss my edward...

Emmett: God, Bella! Stop being so needy for your Eddie-Puss. He'll be back when he gets back. STFU!

Bella: W...Bu.....JERK!

****

Author has signed on

Me: Excuse me!? I was right beside him. Even tho that WAS MEAN! *smacks emmetts arm* Anyhuuuuuu! Dont call my Emmie-pooh a jerk! B*tch!

Emmett: Yeah!!

Bella: Sorry....*pauses* WAIT! YOU'RE NOT A VAMPIRE! I COULD TELL THE VOLTURI AND GET YOU KILLED!!!

Me: You wouldnt. Edward wouldnt be happy with you for that.!!! Hah! Stick that in your juice-box and SUCK IT!

Jacob: Hahh!

Bella: Oh, Bite me!

Me: Oh, id rather not.

Bella: *stares at Author*

Me: Let's play horse.

Bella: What?

Me: I'll be the head. And you just be yourself.

Bella: stfu.

Me: Make me.

****

Aro has logged on

Aro: HUMAN!

Me: Uhhhh....

Emmett: We're changing her soon, Aro. Please dont hurt her. She's the love of my life.

Aro: What happend to that blonde one? What was it.........AH rosalie!

Emmett: I do not love her. She left me. I hate her.

Aro: Very well then. I'll check up later to make shure she's been turned.

****

Aro has signed off.

Edward has logged on

Bella: Edward!!!

Edward: Hey, bella, love. *kisses Bella*

Emmett: Ghag me. *pukes*

Edward: Emmett,...

Emmett: Yeah?

Edward: SHUT THE F*** UP!

Emmett: Make me...

Edward: Really wanna start a fight with a mind reader?!

Me: NO YOU DONT EMMETT! JUST BECAUSE ILL KILL EDWARD IF HE DOES ANYTHING MEANS....NOTHING!!!!!!! *frowns* Im logged off.

Emmett: I guess i will too.

****

Author has signed off [3:45:56]

Emmett has signed off [3:45:59]

Jacob: *smiles* Ness and Oliver are back!!! Bye!!! You guys can come over if you want. Ness is dying to see you again. She misses you. ...dnt see why...

Edward: Thanks Jake...I guess... We'll be sure to stop by. Tell ness we'll be there in an hour.

Bella: Yahh...

****

Jacob has logged off [3:50:43]

Bella has signed off [3:50:45]

Edward has signed off [3:50:46]

Sooo....what'd you guys think..? Love it? Hate it? Review!! :) oh, and i have another story 'Love?' Read it! :) And, im making one about Nessie's too! :)

Oh, and Mikes chapter is up next! I'll try to have it up tomarrow :)

~*Stacy*~


	12. Mike's makeover

**Mike has logged on.**

Alice: Hello mike... *evil grin*

Mike: Sh**! I forgot you were here....uhmmm..... *runs*

Edward* *Chases Mike* *Takes him back to Alice*

Mike: Jerk

Edward: ...Moron.

***** Bella *****

I laughed, helping Alice do Mike's makeup. So far, he looked like the ugliest woman on earth. When we finished his makeup, he sat up and we made him change into a dress. He put socks in the dress to make boobs. And then, we shaved his legs and put a wig on him. He really was the ugliest woman on earth.

We got the video-camera and took Mike to a bar. He walked up to the first guy and started flirting with him. I laughed at the look on the guys face. He smiled and tried to act polite, he talked to him, and when Mike kissed him, he freaked out. Mike laughed and took the wig off. The guy he kissed, his eyes went wide.

"YOU'RE A DUDE?!" He screamed. Mike nodded.

"It was a dare." The other guy looked discusted.

"Ugh. You couldnt have chose SOMEONE ELSE?! ANYONE ELSE?! That way I could laugh at it! Not be discusted!" He screamed.

"Dude, dont sweat it. It was a dare. Im straight. My...uhh my girlfriend, Bella, dared me to do it." My eyes widened in surprise, and I almost slapped him. If Edward hadn't been there to drag Mike away, i would have killed him.

Thankfully, after we got him far away, Edward attacked him.

"BELLA'S YOUR GIRLFRIEND, HUH?! LET'S JUST SEE WHAT THAT LIE GET'S YOU!" He screamed at Mike, punching him, again and again. Until finally, Alice pulled him off. "DONT. EVER. SAY. SHE'S. YOURS. AGAIN. NEWTON. OR ILL KILL YOU!" He screamed.

**Love it? Hate it? Oh, and check out my other stories!! Review..!!**

**~*Stacy*~**


	13. AUTHORS NOTE PLEASE READ!

**Sorry not an update.**

**Sorry its taken me so long to update anything... ive been distracted with mii boyfriend, and ive got terrible writers block. So if you have any ideas for any of my stories msg me :)**

Byee

&Lots of Love  
**Stacy**


	14. Authors NoteREAD!

**Hey guys i am sooooo sorry i havent updated in forever!! I was busy with my boyfriend, and then i got grounded. Then i had drama with breaking up with one boyfriend, then got groundedd again! Now everything is almost backk to normal. I have a good guy now, and im not grounded anymore so ill try to update my stories ASAP! THanks for understanding!!**

**&Lots of love,**

**Stacyy**


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